What I Wish I'd Said To Him...

In 2017, I went to my chiropractor for a neck adjustment. Earlier that day I’d been packing for our first ever beach vacation as a family and totally pulled something in my neck. I was excited though. This vacation was a milestone. A six-hour car ride to an unfamiliar place, with a neurodivergent little passenger...there were a lot of feelings and wonderings for everyone involved. I’d gone to this chiropractor for a long time but had news to share since my last visit and that was that my toddler had been diagnosed as being on the Autism spectrum. He then stopped mid-adjustment. Walked over to the whiteboard in his office, uncapped an expo marker and started drawing wait for it…a bucket. I sat up curious like what’s happening here. He then vigorously shaded the bucket in and as he did it was like “This is your body.” Turned to me to make sure I was following – then drew what can only be described as Niagara falls level marker lines over it and was like this is your body Lindsey... and it’s overflowing with toxins.

He was about as unhinged as this gif, y'all. Not even kidding. I don’t even remember what I said to him other than, “Excuse Me?” He was all – yeah – you need to get a toxicology report asap because your body was and is most likely toxic. This is why this happened.

I was dumbfounded. Felt shame. Humiliation. Anger. Tears. Like how dare this person feel that this was appropriate? He doubled-down and went on a long tangent about how it was all.my.fault. Mansplaining on steroids.

I can remember now falling all over myself explaining all the healthy habits I'd adopted and continued through pregnancy and postpartum.

He deserved none of that explanation.

I should have said, "NO, I don't wanna hear this,

you're wrong and you're obnoxious. Goodbye."

I left his office and never came back.

Later that day, I remember riding along through all the Alabama backroads enroute to the Gulf Coast almost numb and in my own head thinking about it all. My neck and ear were also on fire. I’d left the adjustment and went the Icy Hot route, so much so that my ear lobe ended up being burned by accident and I needed antibiotics when I came back from vacation. Praise God for the minute clinic at CVS not blaming my toxic body for a chemical burn.

We ended up having a great vacation and making memories that I’ll forever treasure on that trip. We now live 5 minutes from the beach in South Florida and I will always remember this trip as the moment my baby first met and fell in love with the ocean.

What I took away from the exchange with the chiropractor was that I wasn’t always going to feel support from people I'd least suspect, a theme that would definitely and unfortunately continue. I should have said “No” and “Goodbye” but I didn’t. I also learned that some people, despite their credentials or "expertise" - are going to see my boy as less than..

And.That.Is.Absolute.Garbage.

If you’re the parent of a child on the spectrum or a child with any special needs, #1) Your child is PERFECT, ENOUGH and WHOLE just as they are.

#2) It's not your fault. You aren't toxic my friend.

#3) You are ENOUGH, just as YOU are.

I'm thankful every.single.day that I have the honor of being a mom to my brilliantly, amazing little person, who happens to be on the spectrum. He is a kind and loving little miracle and I'll fight for him every single day of my life. I'm here for you and your little people, too.

All my love,

Lindsey